Silence is Golden - Isn't it?

Had a fun day out yesterday with the wardrobe mistresses in Paris, beginning the first leg of my formal "re-adjustment training". Lots more to come in the weeks ahead but I did want to share a few thoughts.

I once worked with a great colleague who had been given a poster by this wife. It was seemingly all about self perception versus how others might perhaps perceive you. I have managed to find that poster and reproduce it below to introduce this post. I guess you can already get the message?

There is not a great point in going through the (rather funny) details from yesterday but basically, you are required to sit silently in front of a small group of people you have never met for several minutes and the group is asked individually to create a word picture of you - age, training, industry, role, personal qualities and even hobbies. To cap it all, you are even challenged to assign to everyone a plant and a vegetable. For the record, I was an oak and a rabbit!  Results are tabulated and then you get to respond.

The idea builds on non-verbal messages and communication. I did a short blog about that some weeks ago, around picking up the signs in your audience - although from the other side of the coin.

There is real learning here. It's about avoiding getting trapped in one's body and making sure that stereotypes are dispelled early. If I aspire to be a male model, then I suppose I need to look like one. But if I aspire to be a tax inspector, then what do I need to look like? Ditto any other role.

Can we lose an opportunity because we don't realise that our audience has a pre-conceived view of what "good for them" looks like? On reflection, I think this is a real danger.

So what do you do about it? I got to thinking - and have brainstormed my own short list of "interview perception" Do's and Don'ts. They are not all too serious but some might prove useful. I have not specified which are good and bad ideas. After all, self-determination for all was a hard-won right and any one of them might work for you!

1. Send someone else in your place - there is a great scene in Good Will Hunting when Matt Damon sends a friend to a job interview in his place. Sadly, I think it is unlikely to work in real life, but you never know...
2. Wear clothes that are sympathetic with the role you want - there is a raft of literature on what not to wear and what you should wear. I did the research. "Red for Sales and Blue for Trust" about sums up all you need to know. Oh and seemingly red ties for men will draw the eye and make the interviewer look up to your lips and so listen more closely to what you are saying. 
3. Just get the answer from Forbes - I am finding a lot of useful stuff here. It's not necessarily always deeply insightful, but as an aide-memoire, it is very good. Reinforcement is always needed. Thank you Agnes for your "folded arms breeds hostility" insight yesterday. Forbes agrees!
4. Get the introduction right - mise-en-scene - you might not look like that male model "all over" but you just might have been blessed with the best-looking "left hand third finger" nature ever created. And you would be just perfect for that diamond ring campaign. Not immediately evident but your job is to get that finger out as soon as you can! The same applies to getting folks into your story and value quickly. Getting them beyond the immediately physical and sharing your vision. No secret weapon - practice that intro and make it sing.
5. The art of camouflage and misdirection is always worth a try. It's not just good to hide battleships or to give the impression that you have a bigger army than your enemy thinks. If you do have a disconcertingly pointy head, try wearing a Harry Potter wizard's hat!

Just as a very last point, the real caption that goes with the kitten/lion graphic is that the most important thing of all is how you see yourself and not how others see you. Just depends on how you perceive things I suppose.